


Freeway of Love

by punkmagicfairy



Category: Disobedience (2017), Disobedience - Naomi Alderman
Genre: Canon Lesbian Character, F/F, Falling In Love, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:22:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkmagicfairy/pseuds/punkmagicfairy
Summary: Ronit Krushka comes back to London after an unfortunate event in her family. She finds out that a lot has changed since she came for the Rav's burial.There's someone still in her mind: Esti Kuperman.Will they finally be able to develop the relationship they always desired?
Relationships: Ronit Krushka & Esti Kuperman, Ronit Krushka/Esti Kuperman
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on Disobedience (2017) by Sebastian Lelio. I do not own the characters.

I've never been really predictable in life, and this is why my job suits me perfectly. Being a photographer always gave me new opportunities and also a lot of vacations. I had just arrived in London after three weeks in Spain — for work, I swear — and I felt exceedingly exhausted. The last few days have been difficult since I got a call from my aunt about my uncle's heart attack. Instead of going back to New York, I cancelled all my business plans and booked a plane to my home soil. I spent hours on the web to find an Airbnb and to rent a car for my stay. 

As soon as I boarded the cab that would bring me to the car rental building, I had nausea. I was very uncomfortable to be back in London. It was always bringing back memories, and many of them were not very good. When I picked up the Mercedes-Benz, I was very nervous about driving in the UK. It was different from the United States. When I started to drive, I was a little bit shaky, but it got better after a few red lights. 

It was weird to be back in London, especially after what happened when my father died almost four years ago in a few days. I did it mostly for Fruma, who was shaken after her husband's sudden heart attack. Thankfully, he would be okay eventually. Over the years, I could recreate the strong bond that I had with her when I was a teenager. Fruma has been the only one who openly supported the person I am, despite that she lived in a Jewish community. I was, and I will always be thankful for that. 

When I arrived at the Airbnb, the owner was waiting for me in front. He gave me the keys and even offered me a bottle of champagne. I got inside the house with a little bit of struggle as my two suitcases were too heavy. It was a very beautiful house with three bedrooms, a lot of lights and even access to the backyard. I couldn't have asked for better. 

Since the day I left the orthodox community after I came to bury my father, I haven't left work for more than two days. I became one of the most popular photographers in America which made me go to Hollywood a year ago to shoot some actors at the Oscars. I was truly blessed by all the opportunities I had in my job field, money was not an issue anymore. In fact, at some point, I didn't know what to do with it so I made some donations for children hospitals and youth organizations. I was able to travel across the world for shootings which was one of my long-term goals and mostly, a dream coming true. 

I unpacked my clothes quickly and but them in the drawers. The master bedroom on the second floor was beautiful. I had a 42-inch flat-screen right in front of the bed. When I was finally done, I sat on the bed for several minutes. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was almost noon. I sighed and felt shaky again. I couldn't believe that I would visit my uncle in the hospital. Our relationship has always been shattered since I left for New York when I was seventeen years old. He never accepted that I was not only attracted to men, that I would not pursue the family tradition in the Jewish community. 

I went back downstairs, grabbed the car keys and headed outside. I was only 10 minutes away from the hospital where Uncle Hartog was. I made my way there, and I couldn't focus on the road. I skipped a red light and almost killed a cyclist. When I got into the parking, I stayed in the car for two minutes before getting off.

I walked through the parking lot and checked my cellphone. I had a couple of text messages from my friends in New York, including one of my closest friends and co-worker, Jimmy Manning. 

Hey Ronnie, it’s early in NYC, but before my very early morning jogging, I watered your plants. I can't wait to see you back in town, miss you sister x 

I had designated Jimmy to water my plants when I left for my contract in Spain. I advised him to keep going as I changed my plans and headed to London. I kept looking at my phone as I was getting to the entrance. 

‘Ronit?’ I heard a male voice and took my eyes away from my iPhone.

I felt like my legs had just sawn. 'Dovid!' I was in total shock to see my cousin right in front of me. It's been almost four years since I last saw him. Things had ended weirdly. 'I didn't expect to see you here, holy crap!' 

'Fruma told me you were coming to town but I didn't know you were already here.' He said with a soft smile. 'Oh, let me introduce you to my son, Jacob.' 

I kneeled right in front of the child. He had only Dovid's hair color. He was truly the look-a-like of his mother which obviously made my heart melt but also, I was feeling incredibly weird. My best friend was a mother of three kids so I knew how to interact with children but my feeling around this one was different. 

'Hello Jacob, I'm Ronit. Your dad's cousin.' I said calmly but my whole body was in pain internally. 'I see you are a big boy already, how old are you?' 

'Three years and a half.' He replied with a soft voice. 

I stood up because my legs were hurting a little bit. 'He's beautiful, Dovid.' 

'Yes, he is.' He answered. 'We have to go now, he has a swimming lesson but why don't you come over tonight for dinner? I would be pleased.' 

I wasn't sure if I should say yes but I finally nodded. 'Of course.' I smiled. 'How is Uncle doing?' 

'Better, it wasn't a severe heart attack but he scared us.' Dovid explained. 'We have a parent meeting at the nursery this afternoon so I really have to go but I'll see you tonight.' 

'Sure. See ya later.' I said. 'Bye Jacob.' I added as I smiled to the little boy. 

Dovid left with his son and I kept staring at them. I had never asked Fruma about Dovid, Esti and their baby because this whole story was making me really uncomfortable but she once made a comment over the phone about the fact that Dovid had to find a new wife so I guessed that they were divorced. 

I finally entered the hospital and I walked to the reception desk to ask about Uncle Hartog's room. Then, I headed to the elevator and made my way to the fourth floor. It was strange to be in this building, visiting my uncle. I remember the last time I came to that hospital: I was 8 years-old and my mother was still alive. I had scratched my leg badly and I had to get stitches done. A light smile probably appeared on my lips when I thought about my mom. 

I entered the hospital room with a weird feeling. My neck and my hands were sweaty. Uncle Hartog was sitting on the bed with the Jewish Messenger in his hands. He looked at me with a surprised look. He didn't seem mad or happy. 

'Hello Uncle.' I said as I dropped my bag on the floor. 'I'm really happy to see that you look somehow good.'

'I was taken in charge at the right time.' He declared. 'You should look after yourself, though.' 

I frowned. 'Why?' 

'Your mother died from a heart attack, Dovid's mother had one at 56 and it was my turn. It looks like it's a family affair.' He explained. 'Fruma told me that you were coming, I have to admit that it's nice. I did not expect it, I'll be honest.' 

It became suddenly silent. I didn't know what to say as we were not getting along well. He stared at me, and I was rather uncomfortable. I have to admit it was strange to see him wearing a hospital gown. I started to chuckle, and my uncle gave me the weirdest look. 

'I'm sorry, it's just that I've never seen you dressed so differently.' I explained. When I realized that he wasn't reacting to what I had just said, I thought about what else to say. 'I saw Dovid outside with his son; that was totally unexpected.' 

'He is such a wonderful boy. He spends more time at home than our grandchildren.' Uncle Hartog told me. 'He is astute.'

I grinned when I thought about the child. 'Oh, you and Fruma are now babysitters?' 

'Dovid needs our help; he has been mostly all alone in this journey the past 6 months.' He sounded serious. 

'All alone?' I asked with curiosity. I had difficulties believing this. There was no way to implant this in my head.

Uncle sighed. 'Esti has changed, a lot but I'm not the one who should tell you about it.' 

'Okay, I understand.' I answered with a different voice tone — a soft and worried one — and saw a nurse coming through the door.

She came to see Uncle Hartog because he had to go for a CT Scan. We exchanged a few words before I left the room, and he made me promise to visit Fruma a couple of times. She was struggling a lot at home without him. I told him that I would do anything to help them. 

I headed back outside and boarded the car. I was very concerned about my short discussion with Uncle Hartog, who told me that Esti had changed. What happened? What's wrong with her? I couldn't answer those questions yet, but that would come shortly. I hated to think about her because it always made me feel incredibly odd. Just thinking about her made me feel things that I can't normally feel. She always had this impact on me, and it's hard to explain the reason why. My heart was pounding, like every time I imagined her sweet face. I had to focus on something else for now because I would probably end up crying at some point. 

I drove back to the Airbnb, and gladly, I felt safer on the road. As I got inside, I took off my coat and breathed heavily. I couldn't stop thinking about Esti. Lord, my mind was such a mess. I looked at my clothes, and I sighed — I didn't look perfect for dinner at Dovid's — or maybe it was just right. It was only Dovid, after all. I was awfully upside down. I couldn't think properly, but I finally decided to take a quick shower. I rummaged into my suitcase and found a New York Yankees jersey and leather jeans. I thought it would be perfect for Dovid's house. Nothing too extravagant. 

The whole afternoon had been very painful for me. I tried to watch the news to change my mindset, but I failed. All I was thinking about is Esti. I opened my MacBook, scrolled through my iCloud, and finally found the pictures I hadn't looked at in years. The way she looked at me over her shoulder with my cigarette in her hand is something that I can describe. I had huge chills running through my whole body, and I began to sob. Esti Kuperman was the last person I had kissed with passion, love, and desire. No one made me feel that way ever again. I tried to forget but I couldn't. It was even worse after my last visit here. She woke something powerful in my soul.


	2. Long Time No See

When I left for Dovid's house, I choose to take a cab instead of driving. I had walked to a liquor store and bought a bottle of wine. I wouldn't consider myself a heavy drinker, but I would never say no to some wine. The driver seemed a little bit talkative, which annoyed me. I was too stressed to maintain a discussion with a stranger. I had spent the whole afternoon thinking about Esti Kuperman. I was frustrated because I couldn't let her control my mind. It took me months when I got back to New York City to move on. She said that she would contact me, but she never did it. I can't recall all the nights I spent crying in despair in front of my friends. I had to go through hard times, and it's like it was all coming back so suddenly. I took my phone and sent a text to my two best friends on our group chat: Jennifer and Jimmy.

_I'm seeing my cousin tonight. Got news of Esti. Feeling weird might give you a call this week. Jenn, say hi to the kids. Love you both._

When I got in front of Dovid's house, I paid the driver and walked to the door. I felt like running away, but I tried to contain myself. I knocked shyly and waited until he would open the door. I somehow imagined that Esti would open, and then I'd probably faint or burst into tears. It was only imagination because Dovid finally showed up. He smiled at me, and I felt awkward.

'Come in, Ronit.' He said with a happy voice tone.

I got inside and realized that nothing had changed since my visit four years ago. I handed the bottle of wine to him while I took off my coat. His son appeared, and he looked at me with his cute eyes. He reminded me of his mother, and I didn't feel alright.

'Happy to see you, Dovid. Truly.' I declared. 'Feels good to see you.'

He chuckled. 'It feels good too. Go sit in the living room. I'll pour us wine.'

I nodded and walked to the living room. I knew the house very well; I've spent a lot of time here. I sat down on one of the sofas, and Jacob followed me. He sat beside me and moved his two legs while giggling. That was a little bit peculiar.

'What makes you so happy?' I asked him.

'Dad had just said that I could watch cartoons later.' He replied innocently. 'Look at my t-shirt.'

'Mickey Mouse.' I smirked and pulled out my phone from my pocket. 'You know that I've met him several times. Wanna see?'

He seemed so excited. 'Yeah!'

I scrolled down in my photo library and showed him a photo of me and Mickey Mouse in the middle of Time Square. 'Look at this.'

'That's awesome!' The child screamed. Dovid got into the living room, and Jacob ran to him. 'Daddy! She met Mickey!'

'Really? That's lovely.' Dovid replied as he handed me my glass of wine. 'Jacob, why don't you play in your bedroom before dinner?'

He stood up, ran, and disappeared quickly. I laughed. He seemed like a brilliant kid and was very outgoing.

'Congratulations on making Hollywood; I saw this in a magazine.' Dovid stated. 'This is a big achievement.'

'Thank you. A huge milestone in my career.' I affirmed.

I told him everything about my shooting at the Oscars. Told him that I had a long discussion with Robert DeNiro, but he didn't seem impressed at all. I showed him pictures on my phone and spoiled him with Hollywood secrets. I felt like he didn't know all the people I mentioned, but he felt that it was important.

'And you? What happened in the past four years?' I questioned. I wanted to get on that subject. 'Uncle Hartog told me that you're mostly alone to raise your son.'

'This is a long story.' He revealed. 'Esti has been on a downhill for six months. I used to have Jacob home during weekends, but at some point, Jacob told me that Esti wasn't eating or slept a lot. I was concerned for her.' Dovid explained. 'I spoke with Esti, and she said that she was tired, that she couldn't do it anymore, so I took him with me for a couple of weeks to help her. It only got worse.'

I shivered. I was in total shock, and I needed more explanations. 'What do you mean by got worse?'

'When she got on medical leave, we had established that she would pick him up at the nursery and wait for me here while I would be at the synagogue, but she forgot about it most of the time.'

Esti Kuperman was one of the most caring people I knew. I couldn't figure how she would forget about her son. She must have been in a terrible state of mind.

'Dovid, I'm sorry.' That's all I could say.

'She was supposed to take him this weekend because I got duties at the synagogue, but she called this morning and told me that she was too tired for this.' He added. 'With Uncle Hartog sick, I don't want to bother Fruma with babysitting.'

'Yeah, I understand.'

I was sort of happy to see Jacob coming back downstairs as I was in shambles to learn about Esti's condition. He was showing me his cars, his plush animals, and his construction trucks. I could see Dovid smiling as he watched me with his son. I was so invested in that kid, and I didn't even know his name before today. His voice was the most beautiful thing I had heard. He had the same smooth voice tone as his mother.

We had dinner later, and I had drunk my third glass of wine by 7 pm. Jacob had that special consent to eat dinner in front of Sesame Street while Dovid and I talked and laughed about our childhood memories. I was a little tipsy, which helped me to forget about the whole Esti situation.

Around 8h30 pm, Dovid went upstairs to put his son in bed. He kept telling me that Jacob has missed his bedtime by far with made me laugh. He was a concerned father, which made me happy. While he was upstairs, I looked a little bit everywhere in the kitchen, and my eyes met a small piece of paper on the fridge on which some addresses and phone numbers were written.

_Esti - 17034 Greenwood Road_

I don't know what got into me, but I took a picture of the paper and put back my phone in my leather jean pocket. I sat down at the place I was during dinner and poured wine in my glass again. Dovid got back, and I acted as if I hadn't moved.

'He couldn't stop talking about your Mickey Mouse picture, and I think you impressed him.' Dovid told me.

'He is wonderful.' I replied.

'I know, he is the greatest thing that happened to me.'

I felt like crying. Dovid's words made me emotional, and I would totally blame the wine for this.

I grabbed a cab to head back to my apartment around midnight. I was drunk, and it totally didn't help to contain my emotions. I cried during the whole right, and when I got inside, I walked straight to the bedroom and jumped in the bed. I kept thinking about Esti's address, and I wondered if I should go to see her. I wondered if it would be the right choice considering her not-so-great situation. I hoped the night would bring me some advice.


End file.
